Well in an attempt to lift spirits and deflect from current conversation, thought I'd start an Easter jokes thread.
Apologies in advance if you feel that some of this is offensive, but probably no more offensive than some of the comments currently displayed to each other on the Coronavirus thread! (Maz, West Country Boy, Spindle and Joe85-the latter two for political balance-please take note!)
So I'll start off with:
Jesus walks into a pub in Scotland and announces "Hi, I'm Jesus, the new messiah and I've come back to save you after 2000 years".
The landlord retorts "yeah alright mate, we get about about a dozen of you in here each year".
"No honesty it's me" Jesus replies.
"Well go on prove it" shouts a voice from the back of the pub.
"Well ok" says Jesus, "what do you want me to do?"
The voice from the back shouts out sarcastically "Well there's a loch outside, why don't you walk across it?"
"Yeah ok" said Jesus, and he walks outside, with the pub emptying completely and a huge crowd gathers.
Jesus walks to the waters edge, steps onto the loch and starts to walk across. He gets about halfway across and starts sinking. He then swims back to the top of the loch, steps back onto the loch water and continues walking to the other end of the loch.
The crowd race round, cheering and shouting "we believe you we believe you, you really are the new messiah, you have indeed come to save us".
One voice shouts out "jesus I believe you, I believe you, but just out of curosity what happened halfway across, when you started sinking and had to start again?".
"Well" said Jesus, "the last time I did it, I didn't have any holes in my feet!!"
Apologies in advance if you feel that some of this is offensive, but probably no more offensive than some of the comments currently displayed to each other on the Coronavirus thread! (Maz, West Country Boy, Spindle and Joe85-the latter two for political balance-please take note!)
So I'll start off with:
Jesus walks into a pub in Scotland and announces "Hi, I'm Jesus, the new messiah and I've come back to save you after 2000 years".
The landlord retorts "yeah alright mate, we get about about a dozen of you in here each year".
"No honesty it's me" Jesus replies.
"Well go on prove it" shouts a voice from the back of the pub.
"Well ok" says Jesus, "what do you want me to do?"
The voice from the back shouts out sarcastically "Well there's a loch outside, why don't you walk across it?"
"Yeah ok" said Jesus, and he walks outside, with the pub emptying completely and a huge crowd gathers.
Jesus walks to the waters edge, steps onto the loch and starts to walk across. He gets about halfway across and starts sinking. He then swims back to the top of the loch, steps back onto the loch water and continues walking to the other end of the loch.
The crowd race round, cheering and shouting "we believe you we believe you, you really are the new messiah, you have indeed come to save us".
One voice shouts out "jesus I believe you, I believe you, but just out of curosity what happened halfway across, when you started sinking and had to start again?".
"Well" said Jesus, "the last time I did it, I didn't have any holes in my feet!!"
0 commentaires:
Enregistrer un commentaire