What can be done to install Brighton to their rightful place in the PL?

dimanche 19 juin 2016

Perennial failure despite hundreds of millions of pounds of 'investment' have caused CEO OF THE YEAR Paul Barber to press the panic button as the pressure mounts on him to drag his carcass of a club into the PL.

He has drawn up a number of 'ingenious' proposals designed to benefit the third placed club in future playoff tournaments. This coincides with the latest outrageous miscarriage of justice that was Brighton's latest playoff failure, following a season in which they finished third.

My concern is that this might not be enough to counteract BHAFC's tendency towards heroic, tragic, hilarious failure. In fact, those plans could end up making them look even more like twats.

No, more robust contingencies need to be put into place. Getting Brighton into the PL has become a labour of love akin to building the Great Wall of China. I feel it will take the collective intellectual might of the BBS to devise new innovations that might finally facilitate Brighton's elevation to the elite footballing division.

To kick things off...

1) the goal at which Brighton shoot during the playoffs should be three times larger than their opponent's

2) an embargo on yellow and red cards being unfairly brandished towards innocent BHAFC players such as Stephens, and of course, Dunk.

3) a ban on singing for opposition fans. There are some supporters of other clubs for which the successful singing of songs is almost a regular occurrence. They don't even reminisce about it happening! Very disconcerting for Brighton fans and players alike

4) let Bruno score, at least once. You know, like when adults let a 5 year old kid join in. He's such a nice guy, we don't want him to start crying again

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