Signed Shirt and comment - Suggestions

Having had too many ales at a charity event last night, I find myself with the opportunity to get a signed shirt from literally any Premier League player, and a comment / statement of my choosing from that player on the shirt. Apparently the comment should be “within reason”.

And I am looking for suggestions. Best suggestion wins and I’ll ask the guy who is facilitating this to get it done.

So far I have

Cristiano Ronaldo or Harry Kane - I should have signed for Citeh