Hi All,
I’m seeking a bit of advice.
I’m married to a lady aged 47. We have two daughter. The eldest is 17 and has a Severe Learning Disability and Complex Needs. Our younger daughter is 12.
My wife had a diagnosis of having Schizoaffective Disorder 8 years ago. Hospitalised for 2.5 weeks followed by 6 sessions of Family Work with the CMHT (to help me spot the signs and symptoms of a relapse).
My wife has relapsed 3 time since 2012. The most recent since December 2018. Expressing delusional and paranoid thoughts to myself. In recent weeks, she has become more and more reclusive, spending many hours in front of the television (believing she is receiving ‘messages’ from it). The worst thing you can do is to deny/confirm these beliefs but instead question them.
However, our marriage has grown increasingly bad, especially since early December 2019.
I’m not at the stage whereby I (and as I always have, I might add) place our children first. Our eldest attends a local Residential SEN school, term-time only, from Monday to Friday. She is home every weekend and every school holiday.
I also have to consider how this is affecting our younger daughter.
Our eldest has challenges with transition between home/school and I feel it best that she goes in 52 weeks. This weekend and last have been pretty challenging caring for her; as she has been physically attacking myself. Yet she is, in essence, 2:1 support and my wife (due to her condition) is keeping herself to the front room only. Watching the television.
I feel I have had to demonstrate a considerable amount of forbearance. The issues in our marriage are largely due to my wife’s mental health challenges.
It is all pretty tough to deal with (we only got the support with our eldest daughter due to my pursuing funding from the LA). My wife has mood swings, wild outbursts (twice with our daughters present in the last 12 months), disorganised thoughts, delusional/paranoid thoughts that she is unaware of and does not treat with medication. The tough part is that she refuses to admit to the reality of her own symptoms and diagnosis (when it seems very clear to myself).
She has verbally abused me many times. Told me that she no longer loves me. Told me that she hopes I die. Told me that she dislikes me. She over exaggerates, over things, and over interprets many things. It is like walking on egg shells.
She believes she is here to save humanity from dark beings. And believes this is achieved through messages from the television and radio.
I understand a fair bit about her condition. And I understand that many people with such a diagnosis lack self-insight/awareness and this is the reason why so many do not self-treat through medication/talking therapy.
However, I am simply at the stage whereby I need to consider our two daughters and myself.
I have asked for our eldest to go in 52 weeks, however, I have no legal status over her; other than being one of two primary carers to her for 13 years. I had to let the LA know this, but they are yet to seek my wife’s consent for her to go in 52 weeks.
I feel my youngest needs to leave with myself. Go and live local so that she has the stability of school and her friends. I would not stop her from seeing her Mum though.
I met with the LA on the 21/1/20 and the SS were concerned about possible emotional abuse. Due to my wife’s outbursts. They seemed to disbelieve me over her condition (despite it being historic) but now seem to be taking it more seriously together with her GP. They have referred her for a Social Care Assessment and a Blood Test to verify whether she is taking her medication.
I have to say, I am pretty disgusted by the SS as I approached them and the GP for help and support. It was all done in good faith and I have been honest and frank. Their response felt like a kick in the bollocks yet despite their concern over emotional abuse, they have still allowed our eldest to return home two weekends in a row and I have been left to care for her alone. All in all, a huge contradiction on their part.
What a mess!...a bloody stressful mess!....I have had many a sleepless night these last 7 weeks or so. I also have been unable to work these last 3 weeks while I safeguard the whole family. As a result, our finances have spiralled out of control.
I’m at the stage whereby I feel my youngest and I need to move out together.
Any thoughts?!?
I’m seeking a bit of advice.
I’m married to a lady aged 47. We have two daughter. The eldest is 17 and has a Severe Learning Disability and Complex Needs. Our younger daughter is 12.
My wife had a diagnosis of having Schizoaffective Disorder 8 years ago. Hospitalised for 2.5 weeks followed by 6 sessions of Family Work with the CMHT (to help me spot the signs and symptoms of a relapse).
My wife has relapsed 3 time since 2012. The most recent since December 2018. Expressing delusional and paranoid thoughts to myself. In recent weeks, she has become more and more reclusive, spending many hours in front of the television (believing she is receiving ‘messages’ from it). The worst thing you can do is to deny/confirm these beliefs but instead question them.
However, our marriage has grown increasingly bad, especially since early December 2019.
I’m not at the stage whereby I (and as I always have, I might add) place our children first. Our eldest attends a local Residential SEN school, term-time only, from Monday to Friday. She is home every weekend and every school holiday.
I also have to consider how this is affecting our younger daughter.
Our eldest has challenges with transition between home/school and I feel it best that she goes in 52 weeks. This weekend and last have been pretty challenging caring for her; as she has been physically attacking myself. Yet she is, in essence, 2:1 support and my wife (due to her condition) is keeping herself to the front room only. Watching the television.
I feel I have had to demonstrate a considerable amount of forbearance. The issues in our marriage are largely due to my wife’s mental health challenges.
It is all pretty tough to deal with (we only got the support with our eldest daughter due to my pursuing funding from the LA). My wife has mood swings, wild outbursts (twice with our daughters present in the last 12 months), disorganised thoughts, delusional/paranoid thoughts that she is unaware of and does not treat with medication. The tough part is that she refuses to admit to the reality of her own symptoms and diagnosis (when it seems very clear to myself).
She has verbally abused me many times. Told me that she no longer loves me. Told me that she hopes I die. Told me that she dislikes me. She over exaggerates, over things, and over interprets many things. It is like walking on egg shells.
She believes she is here to save humanity from dark beings. And believes this is achieved through messages from the television and radio.
I understand a fair bit about her condition. And I understand that many people with such a diagnosis lack self-insight/awareness and this is the reason why so many do not self-treat through medication/talking therapy.
However, I am simply at the stage whereby I need to consider our two daughters and myself.
I have asked for our eldest to go in 52 weeks, however, I have no legal status over her; other than being one of two primary carers to her for 13 years. I had to let the LA know this, but they are yet to seek my wife’s consent for her to go in 52 weeks.
I feel my youngest needs to leave with myself. Go and live local so that she has the stability of school and her friends. I would not stop her from seeing her Mum though.
I met with the LA on the 21/1/20 and the SS were concerned about possible emotional abuse. Due to my wife’s outbursts. They seemed to disbelieve me over her condition (despite it being historic) but now seem to be taking it more seriously together with her GP. They have referred her for a Social Care Assessment and a Blood Test to verify whether she is taking her medication.
I have to say, I am pretty disgusted by the SS as I approached them and the GP for help and support. It was all done in good faith and I have been honest and frank. Their response felt like a kick in the bollocks yet despite their concern over emotional abuse, they have still allowed our eldest to return home two weekends in a row and I have been left to care for her alone. All in all, a huge contradiction on their part.
What a mess!...a bloody stressful mess!....I have had many a sleepless night these last 7 weeks or so. I also have been unable to work these last 3 weeks while I safeguard the whole family. As a result, our finances have spiralled out of control.
I’m at the stage whereby I feel my youngest and I need to move out together.
Any thoughts?!?
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