If you want to impress young American women just tell them that you play for Crystal Palace. That is the findings of a survey I recently conducted during a month-long road trip in the States.
Let me explain.... There we were having a steak and beer in a bar in Roanoke, a small town in upstate Virginia, nestling in the foothills of the Blue Mountains. Over comes the owner, having heard that there were some strange sounding foreign people in his bar. Having found out where we came from, his first question to me was which football team I supported. He broke out laughing when I told him.
This is his story... Ten years ago he played goalie in his local 'soccer' team. He needed to buy some new goalie gloves. The young female shop assistant asked him if he had ever played professionally. Wanting to impress her he said (falsely) that he had played for Crystal Palace in the Premiership and a few Cup games. I'm afraid that your correspondent's memory starts to get a bit hazy from then on, because he insisted on buying us some more beers and the conversation moved onto our recent season and the World Cup.
The wife was also less than impressed by the subject of discussion. This could be because a) she grew up in Charlton b) she recalled the day before I had pointed out that the local Richmond paper was announcing to a great fanfare that tickets for the game against top Premiership club Crystal Palace were going on sale the following Tuesday or, and most likely c) she recalled that about the same time our new American friend was buying his goalie gloves we had stumbled into a breakfast bar in Budapest where the waiter , having found out I supported Palace, spent the whole time discussing the Palace and the two Hungarian players then in our squad. (Needless to say after that we went there every day for breakfast).
So that is the result of my extensive survey, conducted I might say at some cost to my liver. Now I recognise that the statistical pedants in YouGov and MORI may question the number of people questioned in this survey and there might be some flies to the theory of all American women loving Crystal Palace. Notably 1 The guy did say that he chose Crystal Palace, because they were not well known and no-one would check his story 2 He did not say if he succeeded in impressing the young woman and 3 It might only apply to goalies.
So, in purely in the interests of scientific inquiry, I think the players, owners, staff and fans should put this theory to the test in Palace 's forthcoming visit to the States.
Over to you guys and 'have a nice day' ( and night).
Let me explain.... There we were having a steak and beer in a bar in Roanoke, a small town in upstate Virginia, nestling in the foothills of the Blue Mountains. Over comes the owner, having heard that there were some strange sounding foreign people in his bar. Having found out where we came from, his first question to me was which football team I supported. He broke out laughing when I told him.
This is his story... Ten years ago he played goalie in his local 'soccer' team. He needed to buy some new goalie gloves. The young female shop assistant asked him if he had ever played professionally. Wanting to impress her he said (falsely) that he had played for Crystal Palace in the Premiership and a few Cup games. I'm afraid that your correspondent's memory starts to get a bit hazy from then on, because he insisted on buying us some more beers and the conversation moved onto our recent season and the World Cup.
The wife was also less than impressed by the subject of discussion. This could be because a) she grew up in Charlton b) she recalled the day before I had pointed out that the local Richmond paper was announcing to a great fanfare that tickets for the game against top Premiership club Crystal Palace were going on sale the following Tuesday or, and most likely c) she recalled that about the same time our new American friend was buying his goalie gloves we had stumbled into a breakfast bar in Budapest where the waiter , having found out I supported Palace, spent the whole time discussing the Palace and the two Hungarian players then in our squad. (Needless to say after that we went there every day for breakfast).
So that is the result of my extensive survey, conducted I might say at some cost to my liver. Now I recognise that the statistical pedants in YouGov and MORI may question the number of people questioned in this survey and there might be some flies to the theory of all American women loving Crystal Palace. Notably 1 The guy did say that he chose Crystal Palace, because they were not well known and no-one would check his story 2 He did not say if he succeeded in impressing the young woman and 3 It might only apply to goalies.
So, in purely in the interests of scientific inquiry, I think the players, owners, staff and fans should put this theory to the test in Palace 's forthcoming visit to the States.
Over to you guys and 'have a nice day' ( and night).
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